the edited version
This is the pretty version of my weekend. The rest involved feeling like something fresh-crawled from a cemetery, which is why last night when the tide turned (thanks to kind, wish-granting neighbors who left the depicted ginger ale, throat lozenges, and little oranges on my porch to avoid contagion), I watched the last few episodes of Season 1 of The Walking Dead—these zombies were my people; I could relate to their brain fog and general messiness.
Today, between bouts of rest on the couch, I am airing out the sickroom and washing up. It feels good to have clean teeth.
While stomach flu works quite well for short-term weight loss, for getting into one's tightest jeans, I can't recommend it because of the whole zombie thing. But the worst part of it all is that I was just sick with a bad head cold only a few weeks ago, so the immune system needs bolstering, apparently.
Before I take yet another nap, let me recount the glories of the neti pot. No longer must I cross the bridge to Washington State to buy pseudoephedrine (kept forgetting to get the Oregon Rx). This particular virus hasn't required much nasal irrigation, but the recent cold did, and all it takes is warm water and salt—aka saline, the stuff we are made of—much cheaper and safer on the liver. However, one must now beware of a "deadly brain-eating amoeba" linked to neti pot usage, and only use distilled or previously boiled water for nasal irrigation. I should probably boil my water first but so far haven't. So if I become an actual zombie, you'll know the amoebas in my neti pot did it.
Note: The neti pot depicted was purchased several years ago at a local Portland co-op grocery for $10-15 before I knew better. I've since found neti pots for friends and family at Goodwill from between $1-3 (duh, run them through a dishwasher and use rubbing alcohol before use). Here's the classic neti pot instructional YouTube video (they use tap water), or watch this guy experimenting with saline, coffee, and whiskey.